The Librarian

We had a small professional library at our working place. It was efficiently managed by the lady in charge of it ( a registered librarian). 

She was a Holocaust survivor, divorced without children.

I was on  good, correct daily terms with her as my room was adjacent to the small library.   After her second marriage,  I  started  to greatly appreciate her , for her genuine efforts  to integrate in her new  husband's family. She was very generous and kind with his two grown up children and their kids.

Despite her vast knowledge and skills, she was not always  popular among the library visitors . There was some toughness about her, probably acquired during her Holocaust days, that put people off ,   so much so that according to gossip she was afraid some won't even show up to her retirement party when the time comes. Well, she was wrong about that . Full attendance, great respect shown to her.

Anyway, she kind of organized her own party as she wasn't pleased with the standard  way done by the office .

Indeed, it was something different, and original , at the end of which everyone got a gift from her,  a reading book with her dedication. and signature.   

After retirement, she and her husband moved to another region, and I lost any contact with her.   A few years ago, I heard her husband had died,  and  that before his death, they had managed to move to a sort of protective facility unit in a proper senior village.

I was curious:  now that he was gone, would his children (son and daughter) and grandchildren be kind to her as she was to them? I had no one to ask about it as she sort of estranged herself from our mutual acquaintances.

Last week,  she had  appeared in my  dreams ,  so I decided  to make some inquiries. I tried  to contact her through the village phone number  and  submitted a  form filled with my personal details.  but, so far, was unsuccessful. I might try later,  (in case I don't get any reply from them) to contact her late husband's family to ask about her.

                 in the library (Ai generated image)

Retirement

When I retired from work (civil service - government office)  years ago, I wrote a farewell speech which ended with  ' I did it my way' (line taken from Frank Sinatra's famous song).   

Well, I should have written, perhaps: 'Despite the corruption, boss incompetence, women discrimination, bureaucracy ...I did it my way' or,  'managed to do it my way'.  But I lacked the courage:)

I entered civil service after working as a teacher for seven years in a comprehensive school. I've always wished to be a teacher, but  I didn't like what I saw in this type of school, and quit.

On top of it all I got ill. Probably the stress from both places, school and  office, caused it.  Anyway,  that sadly affected my  advance to a better rewarded position within the system. 

Here's the opening part of the speech (translated from Hebrew) which is an attempt to define my general , rather positive feelings on retirement   (in Hebrew it sounds much better).   

                                     *

'Retirement is a beginning, not beginning of the end

It's an emotional, and significant event

There's expectation for something different and new

Involving social- economic changes too.

                                *    

Retirement is not  stopping of activity

But rather opportunities  in creativity

Concentration on leisure and balance

Transition to a world  full of challenge

                               *-

Sometimes, retirement closes one door

Opening another one, to explore

The terms of diligence and action

Enterprise , professional satisfaction

Gamble

There are people  among us with known allergies to various food components. Eating out means gambling with life for these people. Yet, they  keep doing it and trusting the waiter and the chef  to take care the served food is without the fatal allergens.

Every now and then we read and hear about allergy caused tragedies. The most recent one - the death of a 22 year old israeli allergic to milk , on a trip in Colombia. News like this leave me  hurting inside and speechless.

I remember well when my father (no allergies) was offered to work for a while after retirement. He consulted his family doctor who was not happy about it because of the daily commute involved. 'But I don't drive, just sit on the bus chair', he said. 'Well, that's it', she replied. 'You sit, and sitting is bad for your high blood pressure'.

His work was mostly physical , albeit of a light nature. She was not worried by that, only about his daily commute to and fro work.

Go figure! Millions sit in cars and drive for hours, and she made  a fuss over less than a two hours commute (40 min to, 40 min. fro)! She was referring, however, to an existing health condition (high blood pressure) of a person at a certain age (retirement age) when things might deteriorate and become a kind of gambling with life (she did use the phrase 'don't gamble with your life').

We tend to philosophically say  'All of life is a gamble'. Still, by taking the right measures, we can minimize, avoid, prevent - in fact, control - to a certain extent,  the gambling side of life.

Inner Voice

 

Yes, there is such a thing as inner voice, I've discovered that after retiring from the workforce. It doesn't control me, but I listen to it.

Here are some examples of what it says:

quotes

Sometimes I wish to introduce in my posts a few well-known quotations as other bloggers do. Well, here's my inner voice's reaction to that: 'At your age, you should have your own pearls of wisdom, not use those of other people'.

flowers

I ocassionally get flowers, but rarely offer flowers to others. My inner voice says: 'Leave them in their natural bed, don't kill them. Flowers are not like fruit and edible plants. They are not needed in nutrition; they exist mainly to delight our eyes with their beauty, colors , and shape. Prolong their life by leaving them in their  growing place'.

climate

A lot of bloggers write about the weather. 'Don't,  says my inner voice. It's God's domain. You may write, if you wish about pollution - that's more like Man's domain. Complaining about the weather might make God angry'.

Warnings

I'm all for freedom of speech and thought. I don't mind differences of opinion; I can cope with that.

'Beware! says my inner voice, you are in the minority. You'd better keep your mouth shut if you don't want to lose friends and even family. They might  cut off relationship with you'.

Well, here my inner voice has a conflict with my self. I'm not willing to give up  the basic value of freedom. If the above, wish to leave me because I think differently, well, so be it.

Corruption

Corruption is everywhere, even at the most unexpected places  such as Help/Volunteering organizations. (I became suspicious after I noticed the huge number of such organizations. I found out they get significant funds from the government and from various philanthropic bodies with almost non existing supervision. Where there's big money, there's always corruption).

'You cannot and should not trust anyone but God , says  my inner voice, and I know from daily experience that this is so.

Health

'Try homemade remedies first, before rushing to the clinic / hospital ; don't make yourself dependent on doctors and medical procedures. Dependence is slow death' - says my inner voice.

'Keep it small and simple! Save your energy!  No  upstairs, downstairs house, no big garden.  Even hiring and employing people like a gardener or a cleaning lady - is Work, and at a certain age (usually after crossing 70), any work becomes hard to do'.

*

I tend to tell people that, in my opinion, Retirement,  which marks the beginning of the third and last phase in  life, is our only chance to have some kind of dialogue with our body and soul. This dialogue benefits us, and we wish we had done that earlier.