Sometimes we learn from the media about the death of a person; no cause of death mentioned (usually at the request of the family). Even if we're curious about cause and circumstances, we accept the lack of information.
It is somehow different when the deceased is someone we've known personally or through online activity such as blogging; it seems then, that curiosity is stronger than us. We even feel 'entitled' to know about the cause of death.
A 69 year old blogger died suddenly at home about 3 months ago. It was quite a shock! The blogger was a very active person, and l was under the impression that he was not having any (major) health problems. He felt unwell during the last few days of his life, and passed away (rip).
I was hoping his wife might perhaps reveal in her blog the cause of his sudden death. Well, she mentioned him a lot, described the sadness of the days without him, her crying and grieving, but nothing on the cause of death.
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Until a few years ago, I was having correspondence with a cousin in the USA - a cousin discovered through the internet, while doing a genealogical research. She was of great help to me with this research, and I felt grateful to her.
At a certain stage, the said cousin (a divorced, registered nurse in her fifties) wrote to me that her younger, single sister was hospitalized. After a few weeks she informed me of the sister's death.(The two lived in the same big, town).
I was in shock twice: first by the tragic event, and second by my inability to get any info on what had led to hospitalization and death. I tried both approaches - direct and indirect, to make my cousin tell me what had happened. In vain.
I had my guesses, but why guess, I said to myself, "we're cousins, and we've been in touch for at least three years . Moreover, I've told her in detail about my own tragedy - the sudden , untimely loss of my brother. So why couldn't she tell me what happened to her sister"?
I felt hurt, but , went on with the e-mails, albeit less frequently. I tried to convince myself that her behavior had probably something to do with specific american mentality with which I was not familiar, and for the time being, I'd better ignore the whole painful thing.
After a while, she brought up the subject of inheritance (procedures to be dealt with, a town house and a car to be put on sale, etc..) - without even mentioning the name of the sister. It was at that point that I sadly decided to stop the correspondence. Certain things are unacceptable to me, mentality or not.