Thursday, May 12, 2022

Toxic Positivity


We often hear and read about 'toxic negativity', but there is such  a concept 'toxic positivity' as well. It is when we force ourselves and others to always look at the bright side of things ('think positive') and ignore the other sides. It can be harmful to our well-being almost as much as toxic negativity.

Positivity does not exist in a vacuum;  it needs to be rooted in reality for it to be helpful. Just as we need to manage our negative feelings, but not deny them, we need to manage our positive emotions without practicing fake cheerful attitudes.

It is not easy to oscillate between the two  aspects of life (positivity, negativity). In fact, it's quite a struggle, especially in old age when time, mobility, health, opportunity and everything that matters - are limited.

A positive outlook is said to help those with a major illness; it brings relief to suffering, hope to the patient. It is also believed that focusing on the positive, might help those grieving, to move on and find some solace in their loss (usually  a tragic loss of a child or a young sibling).

I wouldn't really know much about that, as I turn to God and pray for help whenever I'm in distress. What helped me in the past, and helps me in the present is my belief in God and His miracles. Yes, miracles. He did some for me over the years, and I'm forever grateful to Him.



32 comments:

  1. I want to hear about the miracles you experienced. Do you ever write about them?

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  2. Sandi dear, let me remind you that you've already asked that once, and I mentioned them to you.

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  3. Yes, Amen, in its meanings of 'it is so', or 'so be i't - referring to belief in God and His miracles.

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  4. Yes, I loathe false positives. Sometimes we just need to sit and realize that things can be rotten. It allows us to grieve and mourn. Then, we can mourn and move on. Happy you are back for thoughtful reflection!

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    1. You're totally right. We can't ignore reality; we've got to face it for the better or worse, and then try to move on.Thanks for the kind words in the last sentence of your comment.

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  5. Yes, I agree, we really need to reflect and be more thankful for those miracles God has given us. And be more humble and kinder.

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    1. Exactly. We should show more humility, knowing there is a power above us in control of everything. We are but tiny dots in the universe that this upper power (God) has created.

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  6. I agree that it is more of a struggle in older age than earlier. When my parents passed away and I retired from work, my income level dropped and my mobility was much more limited. Whatever is easiest... that is what I choose.

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    1. In old age we all need to choose what is easier and safer. We can't go on with what we're used to in our younger days. We have to recognize our limits, and not fight them.

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    2. Sorry.. it came up without my nick Hels

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    3. Hi Hels. I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. Sorry.

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  7. I hadn't thought before of toxic positivity. I had to google it to read more about it. At times I must admit I've probably been guilty of it. I'm like you, Duta. I do pray to God when anxious, distressed, fearful, etc. It is something I've learned to do first instead of getting myself all worked up. I've had a few miracles over the years myself :)

    betty

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    1. It's hard to avoid it. We're all guilty, at times, of both toxic positivity and toxic negativity. We're human, after all, and humans are not perfect. That's why most of us look up at a higher power asking It for help.

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  8. Being positive or trying to be when praying to God is also good too...not everyone can be positive when they require help so praying is ideal. It can help clear ones mind and show us the right way.

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    1. I believe in praying to God. I mean, not God as a religious entity, but more as a super power which has created the world and reigns over it.

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  9. Both extreme is not good for us. Humbly committing every situation to God, trusting Him to see us through every situation and prayers can help in great ways..

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    1. I completely agree with your opinion, Nancy.

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  10. It is OK to feel sad and unhappy. I have learned that emotions ebb and flow, and I often can move through sadness to a more positive emotion, with the help of God. My husband has had a severe burnout. After two years he still hasn't got his energy back. But this difficult period has given us beautiful insights so that we can say: it's good this way. The negative has brought us positive things. We didn't see that when it was so tough, but gradually that insight grew. Sometimes we need to help each other so see what is really negative and what is not. And what is really positive, and what is not. xxx Glad you are back to blog, DUTA (and sorry for my poor English)

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  11. Sorry about your husband, but glad the difficulties gave you both positive insights, and brought you two together making you help and understand each other.
    (Your english is not poor Aritha; whatever made you think that?!).

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    1. My free grammar checker is saying that. it always will rephrase what I write.

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    2. Well, Aritha, if you're happy with it, so be it:)

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  12. I tend to be exceedingly positive but not without careful analysis. Sometimes you have to be sad or worried -- and with good reason. And sometimes we get too negative about everything. Balance is what makes the diff.

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    1. Balance is the key to everything. A balanced attitude is good for us and for those surrounding us.

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  13. Constant positivity is very draining for those around it. Sometimes people just need to be accepted wherever they are in life.

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  14. Indeed. We should act naturally and be accepted for what we are and wherever we are in life.

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  15. I had never thought about things that way. Thank you!

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  16. Well, there's always a first time, Kathy. It happens to us all.

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  17. I always try to think and be positive even in the worst situations. In some way that helps me to handle difficult events. My glas is always half full and not half empty.

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    1. A lot of people are like this. In your case, you've also got good friends and that helps maintain a positive attitude.

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  18. hola, si, es que todo en exceso es malo, hay que ser positivo pero no todo es bueno, y eso es así

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  19. If I understand you corectly, you mean 'proportionality' is the key word, no exaggeration.

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