Being part of the human race, it's only natural that we, people. want and seek the company of other people.
Yet, when I look back at my life, I find out that it is people that have weakened me most - more than work, more than bad habits, more than the...flu. What can I do with this awareness? Not much. I can try to ignore bad manners, stay away from some "toxic" individuals, keep to myself for protection (avoiding isolation).
Barbara Streisand opens her famous song 'People' with a line claiming that "people that need people are the luckiest people in the world". Well, let's not exaggerate. We all need people, but needing them might also make us dependent, and dependence of any sort is rather undesirable, even within the family.
Another singer, Jonathan McReynolds, has also a song named 'People' . He says about them that "they are the best and the worst you've created / loving and hating and opinionated / loners in basements, and those congregated / ". That's closer to what we know of people.
People with talent find a long escape in art, others bestow hours of attention on critters . I've got none of these tendencies (except feeding pigeons and growing the 'lucky bamboo' plant). So, no escapism for me, only the bare reality of trying to cope with people.
That's not as bad as it sounds ; it gives me considerable insight into human nature, and often saves me from falling into the traps laid by the combined efforts of populism and stupidity.These traps are becoming more numerous as the outer conditions (virus, climate) are getting worse.
I have a low tolerance for people these days. I just love my 16 acres, and no one to bother me!
ReplyDeleteן can understand you, especially that your days are filled with the blessed presence of your two grandies.You've got a big place to take care of, and people might just get on your nerves.
DeleteI am an introvert myself.
ReplyDeleteEven if one is not an introvert by nature, he/she can easily become one after disappointments with people.
DeleteI think I have an unrealistic expectation at times for people and end up being disappointed when they don't meet those unrealistic expectations. I also think others have unrealistic expectations about me and get disappointed when I don't live up to them. There are those who need to have people in their lives; I'm perfectly happy by myself. Not sure if that is a good thing or not.
ReplyDeletebetty
Oh, those with unrealistic expectations!
DeleteWell, I 'm not one of them; certainly at my age I know more or less what to expect of people. Yet, I'm still surprised sometimes at how low people can get.
I know where you are coming from Duta. I love people and find that I consider myself lucky as they don't seem to annoy me. Listening to people, maybe I can help them in some way. Some say silly things, some are a bit rude, some are troubled.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
I've learnt to accept the diversity of people and behaviors. There are the good things such as mutual help, but there's also a lot of hypocrisy surrounding us.
DeleteYes people are an interesting bunch I think they are all on a journey and here to learn. SOmetimes I feel I can help some, very few help me and then there is a handful I just enjoy So I feel blessed
ReplyDeletePeople are definitely interesting! Even a photo if it's only landscape without people in it, looks more dull.
DeleteAnyway. I am glad you feel blessed in their company.
It is a lifetime journey to figure about those around us. Some friendships are better than others. Of course, we can ponder a lot about ourselves through other people (selfish I guess.) Of course, some are more aware of troubled people than others. Lately, a few I have met while working at the library I have googles. One is a shop lifter and another was in a special needs school. Just this week, I had a woman come in so happy to see me. She hadn't seen me in ages. I played along. Although, I had no idea who in the world she was. Finally, she asked about my brother. She wondered what ever happened to him. She'd been a teacher's aid back at his elementary school.
ReplyDeleteVery true; it takes a lifetime journey to figure out... Well, I'm in my mid-seventies; it's a lifetime journey, and that's my conclusion - people have weakened me.
DeleteOh, I'm so glad that you posted about Burda, but then I couldn't comment. I think of my grandmother telling me..every girl needs a sewing machine. I think I have 3 but only one really works. I usually, upcycle what I have. That's wonderful how you made something so beautiful for you mother.
DeleteSo the first step in any big project is awareness. Sounds like you're there. Now you just have to figure out what to do with that awareness.
ReplyDeleteCorrect. And yes, I'm there and explained what I could do with that awareness.
DeleteThe bottom line is avoid people that have the potential to weaken you.
I have been pretty isolated these days, Duta. Yesterday I was thinking we really should all be going places, but today I am thinking it's good to stay home. I am an introvert, I think, so it's okay for me. I wonder how it is for people who need people.
ReplyDeleteThe pandemic has done much to increase our isolation. Nevertheless, we need to mingle with people, even if it's only at the grocery store or in the neighborhood park. It's a sort of mingling that doesn't require any commitment or special effort on our part.
DeleteI find people increasingly toxic, giving out negative vibrations which I tend to absorb. To detox from them I need to spend time on my own, and this is increasing as I get older. "Spending time with God" is what I call it!
ReplyDeleteOh, Vera it's amazing how alike we are.
DeleteI've reached a stage where I trust only God. My trust in people has failed. I'm weary of all the hypocrisy, disloyalty and dishonesty surrounding us and affecting every one of us.
Bless you, Duta. Vx
DeleteThanks a lot for the blessing,dear Vera.
DeleteMay God bless you too with happiness, health and prosperity!
I love meeting people from all kinds, each one brings me something bad or good. I just take from them what is good for me. I find my peace in painting o photographing and above all with cats ! They are the best psychologists !
ReplyDeleteYes, I've noticed you love people, and people love you. You also have your art, and your cats, which offer you peace from the messy reality.
DeleteI’m a people person. But sometimes people try my patience. Taking care of family has been difficult in that I don’t get out much. Then COVID has isolated us all more. My brother felt like you did about the human race.
ReplyDeleteIt happens to all of us. We want people but sometimes they try our patience. Covid is still with us, and so are partial restrictions and isolation. Difficult times.
DeleteHurt people hurt people, don't they. There's a time and place to reach out. And other times boundaries need to be put up. The Bible says to 'guard our heart.'
ReplyDeleteNo wonder!
Wise words,Linda! That's how it is with people. Sometimes they hurt and we have to guard ourselves.
DeletePeople can often drain you. They can also build you up. I visit with a group periodically and emjoy it, but if I had to associate daily, it would be taxing. We are putting another year's vacation on hold due to the virus. Bless you, Duta. Your posts are so real.
ReplyDeletePeriodically is OK; daily, even with family is sometimes hard.
DeletePostponing vacation due to the virus is common to many travelers.Hopefully, next year, things will improve.
Bless you too, Linda, and all the Best!
I make the mistake of reading comments on news sites. That isn't a good thing, if one wants to restore their belief, that people are, by nature, good. I don't think I believe that, at least completely. People get too much enjoyment out of belittling, gossip, and joy if something unfavorable happens to someone they oppose, either politically, or in everyday life. While some of this behavior can be learned, I believe it's inherent in all of us...some of us just know how to reign it in, and try our best to be the good people that we want everyone else to be.
ReplyDeleteYou're referring to talk-backing, Bica.
DeleteOh, those talk-backers are terrible! I've completely lost my patience to read those comments.As you say,"that isn't a good thing". Definitely not.
I think it's hard as we do all need each other. I chose to believe people are inherently good and cut out the toxic people - no need to spend time with relationships that don't benefit anyone! But sometimes some of the things you see people doing make you wonder if people really are inherently good, especially recently with everything going on in the world! Thank goodness I can raise my kids to be kind and considerate and a positive force for the world!
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a nice weekend :)
Away From The Blue
Your choice is the right one - to believe people are basically good. It's always wise to start with the positive outlook and see where it leads yo to, what life and experience teach you about people.
Delete"Working" with a lot of other people in a shared project is wonderful. There is plenty to discuss, and plenty of tasks to do collectively. I loved that.
ReplyDeleteBut friends you "choose" are totally different. Those friendships can last for decades, or they can die horribly in a toxic war of words.
I certainly can see that - being with people on a shared project with plenty to do and discuss. Lovely experience!
DeleteIn my post, however, I'm referring to people we generally meet in the big project of Life; coworkers, neighbors,acquaintances, friends - all sorts of people in all sorts of places.
Very interesting post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing 😍😍
Regards:)
Glad you like it. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
DeleteI have a lot of friends online but none in real life. I really don't like being around other people other than family.
ReplyDeleteFamily's good. But here again, there's extended family, nucleic family, distant family etc..
DeleteI suppose you feel best with your nucleic family of daughter , grandson, siblings.
Because of the fall of mankind, we’re all a bit toxic. We all need to be loved. When we know we're loved, we love others the right way.
ReplyDeleteSimon and Garfunkel wrote a song called “I am a Rock.” The last part of the song is telling: “I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock. I am an island. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.” Sad song.
Sad song, indeed. but true. We have books, art, critters - to protect us from other people. We are all rocks, islands. Love won't help; it's rather late.
DeleteAccording to climate change predictions, islands are going to be swallowed up by the waters around them. So no good things for us lie ahead.
As always, Duta, you have touched upon an interesting topic, whether people need one another. I tend to consider myself as basically an introvert. Friends and family would disagree as I am always the one to keep in contact through letters, cards, emails. I enjoy spending time with myself and those methods of communication are my way of "reaching out" but not necessarily needing to do so. Blogging is my sole form of "online" socialization and while I appreciate and value the posts, comments, opinions of other bloggers, this contact is at a distance in most cases.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your comment that we should limit contact with toxic people, whether family or friends. Also we don't need people to be happy with our own life, but we should not totally ignore them.
Thanks for your kind words.
DeleteInteresting. Many people claim they're introverts, and yet they seem to carry well relationships with others. Perhaps they make great efforts to please family and /or neighbors/ friends/acquaintences.
Blogging is indeed 'friendship at distance', and it's quite valuable.
Hi Duta comments is turned off on your latest post (Burda) so just wanted to say I had stopped by and it brought back happy memories of my father's business trips to Germany in the 70s when he always returned with a magazine for me - usually the Burda sewing magazine! Your post here is thought provoking - I like having people around me yet I dont like them to get too close/personal, probably why I like blogging so much!
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy seeing people, being around people but at times you just feel 'peopled out' and need to take a break.
ReplyDeleteQuietness can be so calming.
All the best Jan
Indeed. Sometimes being around people can be a bit too much.
DeleteDuring the lockdown, nany have suddenly felt that distancing and isolation are not so bad.
It's, unfortunately, true. People are getting more and more selfish, even within the family.
ReplyDelete