Thursday, December 12, 2019

Father and Son


Bnei- Brak - waiting for the green light

I usually see them on a Thursday,  if and when I happen to be at the supermarket adjacent to the ultra-orthodox city of Bnei-Brak. Father and son ; the son has Down Syndrome (condition caused by an extra chromosome). The two are shopping for the upcoming Sabbath.

The father is moving around picking groceries, while the son watches over the shopping cart. Sometimes the later gets bored or impatient and starts screaming to get his father's attention. I've also seen him turning the cart upside down while in a fit of anger.  

People in the store stop to look at the "show". They pity the father. I pity him too, of course, but I pity the son even more; how sad to be born in this world just to evoke feelings of pity, and rejection! 
The father  shows him affection , talks to him in a very soft voice and calms him down... till next time.


Bnei-Brak  -chatting under the tree

It looks like the shopping on Thursday is a treat for the boy - he gets to be with his father for more than an hour, and probably feels as his right hand, his helper. They seem close to each other, and I feel very bad  about my thoughts on the issues of prenatal tests and pregnancy termination.


orthodox father and his two girls

usual sight in Bnei-Brak; mother,  kids and baby in the carriage

Anyway,  in orthodox circles abortion is unacceptable unless the mother's life is in danger. It is considered murder of a potential life.


youngsters in Bnei-Brak

45 comments:

  1. These are difficult decisions, Duta, influenced by faith no doubt, and other considerations about dealing with such unfortunate outcomes in life. I am really not sure how I would react. I am not sure that I would have the patience and understanding to cope with a situation of this nature, which would influence every other facet of my life. You are making us think!

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    1. Faith is crucial in these circumstances. It helps overcome heart-wrenching dilemmas, struggle with the blows of Fate, and cope with reality.

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  2. Thank you for these photos, Duta. They are glimpse into life there. I noticed the tzitzit on the little boy's waist band in the second to last photo. It is endearing see the teaching of that tradition in one so young!

    "The father shows him affection , talks to him in a very soft voice and calms him down... till next time."

    What a blessed man! I believe each person is born with a purpose. God Almighty has a plan for each life. He has a purpose, something good. Life is sacred. There are over 7 billion people on Earth, but only one of each of us.

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    1. You're welcome. A tiny glimpse only, but it gives some idea about the place (the tzitziot are a common sight in an orthodox community).
      Your beliefs in the sacredness and purpose of each life are my beliefs too. The father probably feels blessed despite the difficulties.

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    2. Sandi took the words out of my mouth!! I echo her comment!! I also was endeared to noticed the tzizits on the little boy. Reminds me I loved when in Israel seeing the men wearing tzitzit. Also about the father in the story and his affection, that really was touching. Sometimes when we look at something, how we see it and what God sees are different. Well, not sometimes, always!
      Praise God!
      As others said, I also really enjoyed seeing this glimpse of life that you shared in the photos. Blessings and Shalom!!♡

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    3. Men and boys wearing tzitzits are seen a lot in those cities with a big orthodox population: Jerusalem, Beit Shemesh, Bnei-Brak, Tzfat.

      "...how we see it and what God sees it are different." This sentence gives much food to thought.

      Blessings and Shalom to you too!

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    4. Thank you Duta!
      I receive them--(the blessings and the Shalom!) Israel to Japan!! and sending more again to you!! (smile!)

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  3. So many things are personal choices. It's clear that this father and son have a great bond and that is so heartwarming. Thank you for sharing this.

    And thanks for your visits to my spot, too! Just had to say thank you!

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    1. You're welcome.
      I'm not ashamed to 'spy' on them. The two fascinate (perhaps not the best word) and intrigue me. They seem to completely ignore the world around them. It's only father, son, groceries to put in the shopping cart. You're right about heartwarming bond. It's certainly there.

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  4. This is interesting and thought-provoking, I've never thought about this in this way before reading about it here. I'm very glad to read your POV and your explanation about it. Thanks for sharing this interesting post.

    Wishing you all the best!

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    1. I'm glad you find my post interesting. Its subject is universal and touches every human being on this earth. Life is not all roses, and Down Syndrome is here to prove that.

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  5. Replies
    1. This topic is too serious and traumatic for jokes, and yet there are comedians who seem to break taboos and speak up their minds about it.

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  6. In here, Louisiana State, abortion is very restrictive.

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    1. Still, as I understand, The Supreme Court will reexamine the restrictive law in the following months. It's believed only one clinic will be allowed for abortion purposes.

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  7. I must say I agree with the orthodox circles on abortion. Even though I'm a liberal, in this case I'm almost always prolife. I'd always ban abortions after the heartbeat can be detected. In so many cases these Down Syndrome kids actually deeply enrich lives of their parents and others, and how many times have we heard about doctors saying you should abort because your kid is bound to be born with some terrible illness and then you go and give birth to a perfectly healthy baby? I support abortion only when it comes to mother's life or in the rape cases.

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    1. Many will agree with your view on abortion. I am pro-life too, and in principle I'm for abortion in life-danger/ rape cases only.

      However, I'm well aware of the fact that only in those communities where people have Faith, will afflicted children be welcome. In all the other cases they'll be considered a terrible burden. So, it might be best for both parents and child to terminate pregnancy.

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  8. First time visiting and commenting on your blog :) I agree with what Jeanie said in her comment above about it being a personal choice. I disagree with abortions but everyone has to make their own decision and then be willing to live with that decision for the rest of their lives. I have a nephew with Down syndrome who puts me to shame at times (my shame not his) in how many scriptures he has memorized and how he can explain them perfectly. I believe every child is a gift from God but I understand others feel differently and that's okay by me :)

    betty

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    1. Welcome Betty !
      You've mentioned scriptures and your nephew's ability to memorize and explain them.
      Well,it looks like he belongs to a family with Faith, so no wonder he's loved and accepted and seen as a gift from God. But there are those who don't consider a child with Down Syndrome a gift, so here's the big dilemma of life - to have the child or not.

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  9. I have heard the down's kids are full of love and affection. that is the father's reward.

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    1. As a matter of fact, these kids are encouraged to show affection by touching and hugging others. After all, parents are not there every moment to supervise them. It can sometimes be dangerous to show affection to a stranger.

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  10. This makes me so angry being against abortion because who pays the bill at the end ? The child ! Unwanted it's badly treated, thrown out of the window, killed afterwards, beaten to death, starved etc etc. How can one force a woman to have a child she doesn't want ? Not all women want to be mothers or have mother instinct.

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    1. I can understand your anger, Gattina. Each case should be examined carefully. If mother /parents insist in their demand for an abortion it's because they feel they won't be able to cope with the situation,and the child will be miserable as well as the family.

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  11. Years ago a friend's daughter became pregnant, and my friend was worried because her daughter didn't want the baby. She asked me my thoughts. It took me a while to think through my response, but eventually I said that it was her daughter's choice, but that she should be supported in whichever path she chose to follow. The daughter had her abortion, and my friend asked that I go with her when she had it, which I did. She hardly ever spoke to me after that. I think I reminded her of that choice she made.

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    1. If the abortion is not linked to fetus' disability or rape - mother is likely to feel regrets about it. The choice is going to torment her for a long time.

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    2. You are right, Duta, I think she will have this torment for all of her life time.

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  12. I have read and re-read your post and the comments too, and must confess that I am at a loss to know what to say … but I will try :)

    I have a friend with a downs syndrome boy, a much loved boy who is now in his twenties. Life for both the parents and him have not been easy but somehow they cope, and continue to cope. They have a close-knit family and good friends, all of whom have helped along the way. Is life easy for them? I would answer no - but they never give up, although I know at times they have been in a very low place.

    We each have our own personal views, and I think at the end of the day it is a personal decision.

    Thank you for once more providing such a thought provoking post.

    I hope you have a good weekend, they seem to come around so quickly these days.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thanks for reading and for your interesting comment.
      Kudos to your friend's family for their patience and efforts to cope with the situation!
      Indeed, "at the end of the day, it's a personal decision".

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  13. Well, good for the father and son, it sounds like true love to me, and kudos to them both! God bless...

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    1. Kudos to them, indeed! May they be blessed by God in all their doings!

      The father must have been a handsome man, as even now, as middle -aged, attracts attention, which is good, it takes eyes off the son.

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  14. In Catholic Church abortion is never an option, however action to save a mother's life is not considered as abortion. I know some children with Down syndrom, they can be so joyful, open, smart and beautiful, it is really touching! Love your posts that make people share their opinions here. Have a lovely Sunday!

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    1. Most religions are against abortion.
      There are various degrees in the Down Syndrome physical appearance and mental abilities. I'm afraid the son in my story was not lucky enough on this matter.

      Have a lovely Sunday too!

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  15. Well sounds like the father and son are doing the best they can. I myself have no bad feelings about a woman having an abortion if she chooses to.

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    1. So it would seem.
      Well, if she insists on having an abortion she must have a good reason, and that should definitely be considered.

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  16. I think abortion should be a private choice between a woman, her family, her doctor, and any other professional she may want to consult (therapist, priest, rabbi...). I had to make this choice and I'm glad I chose my son but the choice is different for us all. Bless that father for his patience and the boy for his trial.

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    1. It's a subject which, no doubt, presents women with hard moral dilemmas and choices.
      May God bless you and your son too!

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  17. There is a definite bond between this father and son from reading what you have written, Duta. Those who stare are perhaps only feeling uncomfortable and thankful perhaps that they are not in the same situation. It’s sadly human nature.

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    1. 'human nature' - it's hard to deal with human nature. We're complicated, unpredictable, often wicked and treacherous. But that's what we are. Father and son here, seem to suceed in ignoring the human nature displayed around them.

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  18. I’m stopping back by to see what's new with you and to show my face. I hope you had a nice week. Thank you for stopping by my blog the other day. I really appreciate that, love the comment.

    Wishing you a wonderful week!

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  19. Not only kiddies with Downs Syndrome throw tantrums. Poor little fellow...he's just feeling bored with "grown-up" things.

    Downs' children have a wonderful capacity for happiness that many other so-called "normal" kids don't.

    At a resort I once worked at we hosted a group of such youngsters one day...and it was one of the happiest and best days of my life. :)

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    1. It's good and warming the heart to hear about their capacity for happiness.
      I must admit I know very little about these children as I don't have them in my family or in the family of acquaintances. I sometimes meet them in public places such as the above supermarket.

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  20. Your posts are always informative, interesting and thought provoking. I love seeing a glimpse of another culture.

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    1. Thank you for the kind words. I'm flattered.

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