Longevity

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We met at a summer course, and  became friends despite the big age gap beteen us.  She was older and wiser than me, married to an english born gentleman, mother to two charming  teenagers .
A few years later, I left town, and that was it;  we completely lost touch.

 In  March of this year (the month is significant to the story), I happened to be in her neighborhood, and I noticed that their modest  one level house had been replaced by an elegant 2-storey building. I stood near the gate for a while not knowing what to do with myself as I felt the need to talk to somebody. Luckily, a woman came out of the building. I approached her , introduced myself , told her that  many years ago, I knew the owners of the place, and  added that I would appreciate if she could give me some information.

She seemed reluctant to talk to me; however, she uttered three short but valuable sentences. She said : 'she had never met the old couple'; 'she believed they were not alive at the time of the house's sale'; 'her family bought the house from the grandchildren' .
I thanked her and went away.

Back home, I googled the city cemetery list to find out age and date of death. The wife, 85 years old, died in March 2011; the husband, 90, a month later. Well then, I said to myself: they had reached a respectable age... and was about to light candles in their memory.

Something was bothering me, though. The woman said her family had bought the house from the grandchildren; What about the two children, where were they? I decided to 'dig' things further. Browsing, I came upon a family tree, and....deep, uncontrollable, sadness overcame me. Both children were gone long before the parents: the daughter at 32, the son at 41.   Instead of two candles, I lighted four.(We're  celebrating Hannuka feast this week, and I'm lighting candles , so this has brought back to me the sad memory).

That's the  horrific side of longevity; parents might get predeceased by one or more of their children. In our society, it happens quite often as life expectancy has increased during the last decades, but so has the number of accidents and diseases that kill the young ones. It has happened in my family too.

I suppose  what has kept the above mentioned couple alive for so many years after the two tragedies, are the grandchildren. 
However, I know that in some cases, bereaved  parents find no consolation  in grandchildren; in other cases  grandchildren find it hard to cope with this unnatural situation of parent(s) dead and grandparent(s) alive,  and estrange themselves from the latter. 

Tragic from any angle one looks at it.  Life is certainly not all wine and roses.

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A Voice in the Night

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Middle of the night. I got awaken from my sleep by a woman's voice repeatedly calling (in hebrew): 'where are you' , 'where are you'.
It was creepy. I had no idea where exactly the voice came from: the street? the garden?the adjacent parking lot? it sounded like a voice coming from an alien world. 

After a few minutes, it occured to me that, perhaps, the voice belonged to a woman with dementia or alzheimer who had escaped, unnoticed from the nearby assisted-living facility (which has also a memory care wing), and was looking for her personal carer. I decided to call the police in our area  and ask them to urgently deal with the matter.

The police were quick. I looked out of the window and was relieved to see the blue flashing light of their car .   After about 5 minutes the nagging voice stopped, and I went back to bed.

The next day I made enquiries. She was found sitting on the garden stone edge, behind a car. It appeared I was only partially right. The woman had indeed dementia, but she wasn't a resident of the assisted living facility.  The police kept her for a while at the station until  family phoned to report her missing. The incident was brought to the attention of the Social Services.

Well, I was glad that it all ended  with no physical harm done to the poor woman. 

*- web picture - logo of dementia campaign