I'm active on Blogger only, no Facebook or other such platforms.
However, several years ago, I opened a Facebook account for the sole purpose of following online city council debates on various topics. At that time what was especially of interest to me was the 'hot' topic of 'urban renewal', as my building was part of an area designated by the municipality for a big project of demolition and rebuilding. I soon became tired with these debate meetings.
Urban Renewal is a long, complex journey involving a lot of factors: apartment owners, entrepreneurs, contractors, neighbors, various local authorities, lawyers. Funding and Bureaucracy dominate the entire process.
The renewal plan for my neighborhood area didn't work out, but I kept the Facebook account as it enabled me to locate people in my past with whom I lost contact over the years.
I had no intention of reconnecting with those people, just curious to know about their whereabouts, and whether they were alive and well. Sometimes, my search didn't get any results. If I happened to know the name of their son / daughter, I would enter their public page trying to find out something about the parent/s.
Well, I was surprised to note that in most cases the off-springs did not mention their parents at all , at least not on the page to which I had access.They did refer ,though, to ... critters.
A few months ago, an 87 year old relative of mine , died in Bucharest (RIP). During her last years she was very ill, with Alzheimer and other health problems. Sadly, her only son (a fairly intelligent person, an engineer by profession), didn't even bother to mention her death on his FB page - no mention, no obituary, no tribute, no memories, no photos. Nothing. (I was informed of her passing by her sister -in-law).
I don't know much about Facebook and how it works, but I do know , that this kind of attitude is not acceptable to me.
Well it is good that you were able to find out through her sister-in-law.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that just my finding out is not the only problem here; it's much more than that. An only son, should have shown some kind of sensitivity to the tragic end of his mother.
DeleteI am not now, nor even have been, nor ever intend to be on Facebook! Blogging is enough for me!
ReplyDelete'Blogging is enough' for me too. However, I 'never say never', as sometimes things intervene in life and make you break the intention. Such was the case with me and the council city debates regarding urban renewal.
DeleteTo me Facebook is just one media thing after another. It might as well be TUMBLR where you repost something instead of a true post about anything personal. It is sad that he didn't reach out like he should. As you said, isn't Facebook for friends and family to connect? I am not so sure what Facebook is trying to connect when much is full of fake news (although, I think they are trying to take care of it) But as of now, there are only bits and many trying to sell you something. Occasionally, there is happy news of this birthday and that. And there are a few who will tell you a tiny bit of someone's passing.
ReplyDeleteReally, I would prefer just to know over the phone, but it seems we have to dig for our own knowing of these things through Google. And hopefully we find the truth.
ן don't pretend to know how FB works, but in this particular case I felt the son should have used this platform and/or any platform at his disposal, to honor his mother with a few words. From what I know, he did nothing of the kind.
DeleteI just wanted to report, I got the pfizer vaccine 2 days ago. It is strange how it works here to get it. I got it through work under the label of "Higher Education" I work at a public library. I had signed up at numerous places on line and kept waiting. Then our director sent me a link in my library e-mail..and bam..an hour later I'm going to get the shot. It didn't hurt much. I didn't have cold chills like some of my coworkers. Of course, I will probably have to go through the whole process again with an e-mail from my director to get the second one. Thankfully, getting the shot was pretty orderly.
DeleteCongratulations! As a librarian you work with public, so it's logical that they wanted you vaccinated as soon as possible. Glad you've had no side effects. Good Luck with the second dose!
DeleteI just stick to blogging.
ReplyDeleteStay safe and well, my good wishes.
All the best Jan
I remember people deserting blogging when FB appeared on the 'arena'. Well, to each his own. I also stick to blogging.That's the platform that suits me.
DeleteBest wishes to you too, Jan1
Hi Duta, I am not on fb either (though I have been before）and understand your concerns. I remember learning from one of the Torah readings that one reason why the Israelites in the days of the Tabernacle were able to maintain good relationships even when living so close is because their tent doors were not open to one another and they couldn`t see into the privacy of each other tents. When I think of fb its kind of like the opposite, seeing into the privacy of so many people who we hardly know, all tent doors open to details we might not need to know about ..., I guess i hope you know what I am trying to say...!! anyway, sorry about your relative and your not being able to hear from her son. I hope in the new days ahead more emphasis will be placed on honoring family and those close to us . Meanwhile, I am on blogger too !! I think the way its set up its easier to keep a respectful amount of privacy between tents so it works better for me as well!! lol!! Best wishes to you!
ReplyDeleteן like the concept of "privacy between tents". Good idea! Like any other good thing it has its roots in the Torah readings. Thanks for reminding us.
DeleteYes, Blogger's format suits me too.
I am active on Fb and Instagram for my culinary business only, I treat it only as an important addition to my blogging and YT channel. I don't have any private accounts on FB, it's just not my thing at all, I guess I a too private for that. Anyway, have a lovely new week and stay safe!
ReplyDeleteKudos to you, Natalia, for being active on four platforms! I'm familiar with your blog and YouTube videos on culinary topics. You're doing a very good, enjoyable job!
DeleteKeep up the good work, as they say.
We are on Facebook for a variety of reasons, too, mostly to connect with relatives and friends world wide, especially since our families span two continents and our work history spans the globe. Yes, it is sad so many families are so distant not only physically, but emotionally.
ReplyDeleteI so enjoy your blog. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Thanks, Louis, for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteI used to say distance kills relationship. Well, now it seems Facebook 'kills' distance; it enables people to stay in touch with relatives and friends in spite of the physical distance. That's the reason for its great popularity.
Maybe he didn't have much to do with his mother? All of my FB friends post about when a family member passes away. It would be weird if they didn't.
ReplyDeleteן also find that ignoring the sad event on FB is weird.
DeleteHe is an only child. Until about ten years ago he was still living with his parents. He moved to another neighborhood after he got married and his Mom's health deteriorated.
Still, I think he used to visit his parents. His father, still alive, used to supervise the carers of his ill wife.
That's interesting. Most of the people I see on my FB feed often mention their parents in either memories, on their birthdays (even after they have passed) or anniversaries of their deaths. I wonder why... if it's a cultural thing?
ReplyDeleteן have access only to the public page. Maybe they mention their parents on other pages to which, not being on the list of friends, I have no access.
DeleteI really don't know. The first page, the public one, seems to me the proper page for mentioning such events.
That was my first thought. I know there are ways to limit what different groups of people can see or not see on a person's Facebook profile.
DeleteI have Facebook and belong to a few groups, rarely do I put personal posts on there. When my parents passed on I didn't announce it on Facebook and never do I say I'm away on there.
ReplyDeleteThat's just me.
So, you too. I don't know what to say as I don't actually know how it works. I understand there are several types of FB - for groups,for business, etc..
DeleteI'm familiar only with what's called 'public page'.
I am not a Facebook fan and have only an account to have access to our city community, which is very nice. We go out (when life is normal) and meet in a restaurant and if I need help I ask and I always get good adresses. I never put anything personal on my page only I let speak my cat. I would never mention if somebody of my family dies or not even a pet because then you get thousands of messages of people you don't even know ! You have to be very careful on Facebook there are so naughty people around so I publish from time to time something which doesn't bother nobody it's only for laughing and read what the others write and that is so stupid sometimes ! How do you iron your shirt ?? or my son is a genius etc !
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to learn about people's various opinions regarding Facebook.
DeleteYou and Margret won't post anything personal, not even if someone in the family dies, whereas Mary and Jeanie would consider not posting this as unusual.
I've been on Facebook for years. I used to post more, but I've cut back. There are several members of our extended family that prefer Facebook over email for messaging, so I honor their wishes.
ReplyDeleteIt so happens that sometimes we get tired of posting, even on Blogger.
DeleteYou're doing the right thing honoring the wish of those who prefer FB over email for messaging.
i have FB but I use it only for blog :)
ReplyDeleteThe advantage of FB is its versatility. You can blog, exchange messages, marketing your business,finding and connecting with friends. Lots of social activities can be done on Facebook. Hence its popularity.
DeleteLike so many others have previous commented, I too am not and have never been on FB. Blogging is how I connect with people and not even family as none of them read the blog. Of course, they are too involved with FB and that's where they post and include photos yet never think of texting a photo. My husband who is on FB sees photos his daughters post and tells me he can send some. I decline saying that it's just not that important, which it isn't and I will take my own photos when we finally do see family. As for posting information on a relative's death, perhaps it is just not something people feel comfortable doing.
ReplyDeleteYou may be right in your last sentence.
DeletePerhaps posting about death in the family "is just not something people feel comfortable doing". We shouldn't judge in such a matter.
I think most people overshare on Facebook, but it's easy to scroll past those with whom you disagree on particular topics. I do use FB and I blog. One can lose track of time on line.
ReplyDeleteYes, it takes a lot of time to be active on both platforms: Blogger and FB. It's "dancing on two weddings" as some would say. Life online is our present and probably the future too.
DeleteI agree with you, DUTA...To me, it is a strange attitude...but, I suppose, as Beatrice stated,the son may not have been comfortable in displaying his grief on FB. I guess we each think and do differently.
ReplyDeleteTake good care. :)
Everything is possible. Perhaps he informed his FB friends on the other pages and got their proper condolences. (I've got access only on the public page).
DeleteBest wishes to you, Lee!
My social media is only this blog. I used to have FB account for a while, I closed it in 2014. Then I have no FB and no any social media until I decide to have a blog.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, if her son does not want to share his grief, he should announce his thank you to those people who help and care for his mom. But I don't know, Duta, you might right, he shares only for closed friend.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Perhaps, you shouldn't have closed it. Sometimes we need it,as its a versatile platform. You may use it only when the occasion arrives
DeleteIf you're afraid of being harassed, you can use a nickname or some other name.
I hate facebook. It makes me feel like a loser. I wish they'd invent a social media page for social misfits, to make them feel like popular queens!
ReplyDeleteI am not that familiar with it as to hate it, but I keep the account in case I might need it.
DeleteThe other day, I saw the ad of a sofa which attracted my attention. To view the sofa you had to have access to the seller's Facebook.
Exactly. We each have an opinion, but perhaps, we better keep it to ouselves. That would include matters regarding life and death, parents and children, relatives and friends.
ReplyDeleteDear Duta and Friends, yep, blogging is enough social media for me also. The world can have their various super-nosey platforms - that follow you around...uh, no thanks.
ReplyDeleteThat's OK, dear Sue1 To each his own, as they say.
DeleteI like your referring to social media as "...super nosey platforms that follow you around..." Indeed, both words nosy and noisy would be correct.