Thursday, July 8, 2010

Yell and Shout at the Mall

In the Middle East, there's no such thing as soft, quiet speech. Everybody shouts at everybody , everywhere, at any time. It starts early in life. Children hear their parents shouting at them and at each other- and they absorb and process this kind of behavior. They then take it out in school and public places.

During vacations, and especially during the long summer vacation, Malls offer various entertainment programs for children. The other day, I happened to be at the Mall and I watched some of it. The most popular are those with prizes, such as machine Games and Trivia contests. In the Games section, there's a terrible noisy music background, so if the child/teenager wants to talk to his friend he must shout at him and ,of course, the latter shouts back at him.

Then there's this spot in the Mall arranged in the form of a mini amphitheater with a large cupole ceiling above, some artificial little waterfalls , and a stage set up for the presenter running the event and the sound system. It's nice inviting individual children on stage, ask them trivia questions and give prizes (posters, toys, etc...) to the winners. The problem is that the presenter in order to diversify the program, chooses also to turn to the whole audience of children (of various ages), asking them to answer his questions. They all yell the answers at him. "I don't hear anything" , he says, " louder, louder" he encourages them. That call for 'louder' is hardly educational or entertaining.

The 'Yell and Shout' thing abuses vocal cords, hurts listeners' ears, damages hearing. Ask any audio therapist and voice therapist; they've got lots of work.
Parents can and should learn to control their anger/frustrations and refrain from yelling at each other and at their children. In public places they don't have much control on what's being offered as entertainment, and yet even there, damage could be minimized with a little effort.


  1. I love these colorful pictures sweet Duda. I'm suppose to be resting and doin' nothing but I had to check in with some of my wonderful blogsisters. I've missed ya'll so much. After two months, I'm still having new shingle breakouts. I really pushed myself gettin' the grounds, house and food ready for our big Fourth of July bash here on the Ponderosa. Whew, 49 were on the guest list this year. I have been ordered to nothingness until I heal up!

    Ha!!! I live on the Ponderosa. Our feeder cattle and donkeys got out this morn' and I was the only one here to corral them and get them back in. Nope, no stress here! Heeehehehe!

    You take care my friend and have the best summer ever! God bless ya :o)

  2. I can only imagine how LOUD that mall was! I agree with you, gentle speech and controlling our anger and frustrations is an important skill and best learned early on in life.
    My best friend lives in Israel and her three boys are very LOUD...LOL....but I still love them to pieces :) Some cultures are just more expressive. If done in love, with intelligence, this is a good thing.
    Love to you, Duta....

  3. I was just wondering the other day why some places have to be so noisy. I was in an Olive Garden Restaurant in Modesto and it was so quiet and soothing & relaxing. I go often to Olive Garden in Bakersfield close to where I live and its so noisy that you have to shout at your dining companion even though they are only two feet in front of you!

    I think as I get older it becomes much harder to tolerate places that are too loud!

  4. They are so colorful these pictures!

  5. Very interesting post! I know people that literally scream all the time at each other, their b.p. must be sky high! I think the world would be a kinder, gentler place (one can wish!)if we all communicated in a calmer way!

  6. I'd last about two minutes in there and would have to seek quite.

  7. Sounds and looks so much like India. The first thing I noticed when I left India was that it was so quiet and gentle. Here, sounds are like second-skins. I know some people who went to US and came back since they found the lack of noise do very depressing.
    I personally like quiet and peace, a contrast to the "Indian" way of life, if I may call it so.

    Joy and peace,

  8. I too like peace and quiet,life in Ireland is generally quiet.There will always be the hustle and bustle of the Cities,but generally speaking the people do not yell at each other and they are very polite.

  9. Nezzy,

    Hi Ponderosa girl,
    I've missed you. Hope the shingles will let go of you and let you have a happy summer.


    You've put it very delicately, I must say; "some cultures are more expressive". And I've learned from your comment a new expression that I'm going to use;" them to pieces."


    I have to attend a wedding this month, and I've got nightmares just thinking how I'll have to shout at my companion because of the noise around.

    Phivos Nicolaides,

    Thank you. The pictures are very modest compared to the pictures on your blog.


    Indeed, the world would be a better place without people screaming at each other.

    One Fly,

    I could understand you. It's hard to cope with noise and shoutings.

  10. Susan Deborah,

    I've never been to India, but we have some people of indian origin here in Israel, and I was under the impression that they have a quiet nature.


    I like to hear and read about things like that - about people being polite and not yelling at each other.

    Jennifer D,

    Thanks for stopping by. The person who said about silence that it's golden, was a genius.

  11. Interesting look into your world, Duta, and I would agree with you about people shouting. Reading your blog made me feel very blessed to be away from such environments, into which I often went when back in the UK.

  12. It's so interesting to learn about these differences in culture and social interaction. I do like quiet, and noisy places or people drive me nuts... hehehe

    Great post and pictures!


  13. Very comical post...Are they so noisy ...even in the public place ? Anyway it makes me so smile....thanks...

  14. I love your posts, and have missed them. I haven't written anything or looked at anything for months now. It's good to be back reading and writing - your posts are always so well written and interesting. You always take me places I will never get to otherwise.

  15. I wouldn't last there for five minutes. I can't tolerate loud voices. To me, they always sound angry. I have been in restaurants where everyone is shouting at each other (it's called conversation?) and I have paid for my meal and walked out without eating it.

    It's interesting to read about other folks' customs.

  16. Vera,

    You're blessed ,indeed, to be on a small peaceful farm with the person you love, away from the maladies of the city.


    Welcome! Thanks for visiting my blog and for the comment.


    It seems everybody prefers quiet to noisy places. It's understandable, noise can really get on our nerves.


    Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad my post has made you smile. Smiling is good, healthy.


    Oh, It's good to have you back. I haven't forgotten you; in fact I've missed you. Thanks for your kind words about my posts.


    You're quite a character!! I'm astonished - you've paid for the meal and walked out without eating it! I have to attend a wedding this month and I've got nightmares thinking about the noise of the music and the shouting of the guests.

  17. I completely agree about there being too much noise, almost everywhere. Even in my home, with the TV/audio equipment off, there is humming & whirring constantly. Sometimes I go outside and am amazed by the silence--then a car drives by. We certainly don't need to add to it with shouting!

  18. I agree! My husband and I met for lunch last week at a place we liked, only now they've added flat screen TV's EVERYWHERE! One at every table and then at least 4 on every surrounding wall. Trying to converse was so frustrating! We will never ever go back to that restaurant.
    In stark contrast; late last night my oldest daughter and I went out on the deck, laid on our backs, and watched a thunderstorm roll in(It wasn't loud yet). It was so peaceful. Now, why haven't I done that more often? :)

  19. Never was one for taking Puppy to Malls as other families did and I would not fair well there as I love to have children speak in their quiet voices. Sounds like a good place to hunt for a real throbbing HEADACHE. Peace

  20. Dimple,

    Once, the noise used to be mainly outdoors. Nowadays with all the TV sets and audio equipment, noise has becomre a constant home member.

    A big bowl of cherries,

    Wow! unbelievable, TV flat screens everywhere! Perhaps it was because of the Mondial, a way to attract customers to the restaurant during the World Cup Games.

    Lady Di Tn,

    Your Puppy was one lucky boy to get a good education from his Mom.
    Your last sentence made me smile. Headache, indeed.


    Welcome! Thanks for stopping by.

  21. Duta, I've noticed that with certain cultures. I grew up with a lot of Italian American families and that's another loud, boisterous set.

    I prefer a quieter setting, too. Thankfully my husband is the same but for different reasons. I grew up in a very quiet house, so a lot of noise unnerves me, and he grew up in a huge family where peace and quiet was a rare commodity.

    Sometimes it's fun to be around the hubbub and excitement of things like a sporting event, or an auction, or what have you. But I'm with you, oh how I wish people learned to speak softly. For one thing, I'm convinced that when everyone is that loud, no one is actually listening to one another. Everything gets lost in the din!

    I agree with several other people, the pictures are wonderful. So lively, and vibrant. Sounds like the people are too!

  22. You have a real talent to write

  23. Land of shimp,

    Mediterranean folks, including italians are known for their loudness.It is displayed in many of the italian movies. Combined with the technology gadgets, the 'natural' noisiness becomes unbearable, and then as you say :" everything gets lost in the din".


    Welcome to my blog! Thanks for the big compliment.

  24. Very insightful post! I'd have to say its a similar situation in Chile too, where half of my family come from. Definitely a place with character!

  25. As a young, inexperienced parent I fell into the trap of raising my voice hoping my children (two boys) would listen to me. This, of course, had the opposite effect. The most valuable advice ever given me was offered by a sister-in-law who quietly told me one day that if I would whisper my children would quiet down and listen to me. What do you know, it works!! By lowering our voices, the children must quiet down to hear what you are saying. A quiet voice commandeers more attention than a raging one. Great post, Duta!

  26. Culture Served Raw,

    By the way, I've heard Chile is the nicest, most civilized nation in South America. Nevertheless, you're implying that ...they've got the southern american loud temperament.

    Thank you for your comment.

    C Hummel Kornell a/k/a C Hummel Wilson,

    Valuable advice indeed. I totally agree with your
    opinion that a lower voice gets more attention, and achieves more.