'Can't live with them; can't live without them'. Men say that about women, women say that about men, siblings and cousins say that about their families. The saying expresses frustration with someone or something you ultimately cannot give up.
I myself use this idiom to refer to people in general. As I advance in age, I become more aware of the wicked, treacherous nature of the human kind. Humans weaken you when you mostly need strength. They'll criticize you at a time when you're in need of support and compassion.
And yet, in spite of all, we need people, 'we can't live without them', their companionship , their wisdom or ..stupidity. (In a previous post I mentioned Barbara Streisand 's famous song "People, people who need people..."). We're constantly on the look out for interraction. Isolation is not the answer, and we've seen that during the two and a half year of pandemics.
In order to avoid getting hurt or wasting precious time exchanging futile words with some rude, infantile human being ,one can train oneself to keep distance from certain people. It's possible and quite efficient.
Anyway, I believe in God, pray to God for help and protection, and this gives me, among other things, confidence in my ability to handle humans.
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"Hell is other people" or so said Sartre ... apparently.
ReplyDeleteand he was not wholly wrong. I fully agree with the feeling you express in this post, Duta. Very often it's men who are frequently "Hellish" in this life, l.e. Hitler, Putin and similar bloodthirsty creatures. Life of others means nothing to such monsters. And then there's the pure perverts who abuse and kill innocent children, usually men, but not entirely. It is a wicked world at times. Philip
We're all in this, Philip - men, women, young, old. The good news is that we can, at least, try, to control the way we handle human behavior.
DeleteWe definitely need to use your wisdom more. Thanks for this post. Now shoe shopping is a difficult task. Even if we just had PRIME Day. Shoes are something I like to buy in person. Good luck. And thank you so much for your comments too. All the best to July.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ellie for doing me the honor of referring to what you call my 'wisdom'.
DeleteShoes shopping has always been difficult for me as I have small but wide feet, and it's not easy on my toes.
I am still on the hunt for shoes. Of course, I don't really go many places. I actually went to Target Friday afternoon and when I saw the line for self-checkout...I wanted to go home before even taking a look at anything. Thanks for your comment. I hope you are keeping cool this summer.
DeleteI haven't even started the hunt. Too hot for anything! Waiting for cooler weather.
DeleteMy sister in law asked my mother's specialist doctor to withdraw all medical care from my beloved mother and euthanase her quickly and painlessly. She asked In front of me!! Despite the doctor and rabbi paying very close attention to my mum, she died 4 weeks later.
ReplyDeleteThe wicked, treacherous nature of human kind was clear to us all. I don't care about the sister in law, but I care about my resulting heart surgery, and I care about not seeing my brother or nephew ever again.
I'm quite shocked, Hels,of your SIL's intervention and its consequences. It's an example of extreme wickednes in human nature.
DeleteI believe God made us for companionship. He remarked in Genesis it was not good for man to be alone so created a helpmate for him. I have gotten more tolerant of people as I have matured. I try to remember I don't know what others are dealing with and also remember that most are just trying to do the best they can with what they have to work with. I prefer to be alone but I do enjoy the interactions I have with obviously my spouse and people online through blogs and the like.
ReplyDeletebetty
You've got the right attitude, Betty. As we advance in age, we become ,indeed, more tolerant to others, parallel to our becoming more aware of the complexity of human nature.
Deletegood thoughts
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine. I don't know if the thoughts are good; hopefully, they're in the right direction in that they somehow reflect reality.
ReplyDeleteYes, we can not live without people. Let's choose the best among them. : )
ReplyDeleteWell, I wish there was a formula for choosing the right/best people - but there isn't.
DeleteWe'll have to use the 'try and eliminate' method:)
: ))
DeleteThanks for returning a smile.
DeleteI'm getting less tolerant with age. I just don't have the energy for people who drain me. There are many good people in the world, I keep my family close to my heart. I am happier sitting on my 16 acres of wood.
ReplyDeleteAge is a factor. I might be tolerant but not with much younger people who shamelessly argue with me about what's right and wrong, completely ignoring my age and life experience.
DeleteOverall, I would love to know what the true nature is of the majority the world's population. We probably all fall into both categories, at times. Such sharp divides over politics, religion, customs, etc., that leads us to know there will never be harmony on earth. I feel I'm a good, kind person, but there are those that rub me the wrong way, and vice versa, I'm sure. Oh well, we should just try to be the best we can, while understanding there will always be those we disagree with.
ReplyDeleteWe're terribly divided. That's a fact.I agree with what you say Bica, that 'we should just try to be the best we can...'.
Delete"No man is an island" said John Donne, meaning that we all affect each other. Like another commenter above, I believe God created us for companionship with other humans, and life totally alone would be very unhealthy. It does seem that people are becoming more and more polarized and less tolerant of others' views. I'm glad to have friends and family with whom I can agree with, or agree to disagree and still love each other.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your opinion, Lorrie.
DeleteLife is not all black and white, there are various shades between, and we have to make the best we can of it.
People do need people, some people don't care too much about not seeing people everyday or for several weeks, we are each different. Some humans should not be on earth but this assumption comes with age and wisdom. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYes, we are different in our need for people as to whom we see, how often we see. However, the bottom line is one - we cannot give them up.
DeleteIn my young days, I like to be alone most of the times because people can be hurtful. What you have written is true about people criticizing when what we need is their affirmation. But as I age, I become more tolerant of those around me. I realized that those who hurt us could themselves be hurting inside too. Hurting people hurt others. It helps to pray for God's love in us to enable us to love others. For those really difficult people, we need Godly wisdom how to handle or not to get too close to them.
ReplyDeleteWe definitely need God's guidance in our relationship with our fellow humans.
DeleteThere are stages in our life when we are more vunerable. With age, we respond better and wiser to those who hurt us.
Conviver com as pessoas faz parte do nosso aprendizado. Parabéns pelo seu excelente trabalho e matéria. Bom final de semana com muita paz e saúde.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Things don't come easy. We've got to learn all the time how to live with others.
DeleteThanks for your kind words and wishes.
As I get older, I seek less drama and more peace and try to remain calm.
ReplyDeleteYou've got enough drama from babysitting your three grandies :)
DeleteI totally agree with you about seeking more peace of mind and soul, as we get older.
Great blog
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rehana. Yours too.
DeleteI have learned (especially in the past two years!) how to self-isolate and pick those around me well and carefully. Yes, we all drive each other nuts and I have to remember -- I drive people nuts too!
ReplyDeleteThe last two years, under Covid attack, have taught us some important lessons regarding health, people, isolation.
DeleteBy choice, I'm reclusive. I keep to myself...and enjoy keeping to myself, being reclusive. I certainly do not need a man in my life...to "complete me". At my age, I couldn't think of anything worse! Only a couple of days ago a friend and I were chatting on the phone...she's the same age as I am...and we both agreed we couldn't stand sharing our lives with a man these days. My two furry besties suit me just fine! :)
ReplyDeleteThere is much...too much...bad human behaviour. Humans never learn, it would seem. I read somewhere the other day that the most dangerous animal is the human animal...how true that is...sadly.
All the isolation rules and regulations over the past couple of years have made no difference to my normal lifestyle and habits.
I like your honesty, Lee. Few people will admit to being 'reclusive' - by choice or not.
DeleteHumans are considered 'superior animals'. I don't know about superiority, but they sure are dangerous.
I keep to myself for the most part. I talk to a few of my neighbors but I don't have any close friends in real life and that's ok with me. I have a few family members that I am very close with. But I've had to cut some family members off because they are so hateful and I don't regret my decision.
ReplyDeleteSadly, even within families, there are people one cannot trust or does not wish to come close with it. That's life's oddities. Luckily, we're free to decide who can be with us.
DeleteBoa tarde minha querida amiga. Passando para desejar uma excelente segunda-feira com muita paz e saúde.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, dear Luiz. Wishing you the very Best!
DeleteAn interesting post and I enjoyed reading the comments too.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Lorrie said :)
All the best Jan
Thanks a lot. I always read the comments following a post, and find that sometimes the comments are more interesting than the post itself.
DeleteIsolation is never a good choice. I, too, like Lorrie's comment.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely no. It's not natural to avoid your fellow humans, and it solves no problem but might create some additional one.
DeleteHi Duta, I am glad to know you, you are a blessing to many, and I believe that God brings us people in our lives specially. He loves us , even when we were still sinners, He is faithful and merciful to a thousand generations. I think if we can see people more how he sees us it will give us more grace to love one another and see how to love one another, as that is our commandmant, to love Him and to love one another. I understand though, it sometimes is not easy but that is our exciting challenge!!! Blessings and love❤️
ReplyDeleteIt would seem people have difficulty to love God and love their fellows. So, they face an 'exciting challenge', as you put it, to learn to love both God and the other humans.
DeleteHugs and blessings!
Nice post about needing people, yes we always need people, isolation is not the answer and not a good atittude
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nassah. Most of us share your opinion.
DeleteHave a blessed weekend!
Lord knows I've had my share of "friends" that I thought I could count on and I learned my lesson. I am lucky that my two best friends were given to me, one my mother and the other my sister. I'm in the process of acquiring a 3rd friend, my daughter. Yes, you would think that my daughter would automatically be my friend, but she and I have had our battles throughout the years, we are too much alike I believe. But as she matures and I age we grow better like a fine wine. I'm hopeful and confident that someday I will rely on her and trust her like I do my mom and sister. And even though we are miles and miles apart you and I are friends DUTA.
ReplyDeleteI'm very moved , flattered, and honored by your mention that you consider me a friend. The truth is I've always appreciated you. It started with my liking your writing style, and next I discovered your many other qualities: creative, family type, warm, honest, and clever.
DeleteI'm sure those around you, feel blessed of your presence in their life.
I love blue too (blue clothes in the pics). My mother taught me that no one can be trusted completely. But she went too far in that. And she always had negative things to say about others. Yet I loved her. I am sometimes a bit skeptical and look the cat out of the tree (Dutch proverb), I don't know if it exists in English. It means I listen carefully, puzzle, check before I really trust anyone. I would like to buy shoes with you., DUTA. Although I dream more of moccasins with beads. Do you like flip flops? Or leather sandals?
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be doing the right thing before deciding to really trust anyone.
DeleteAs for shoes, it's not a matter of what I like but of what my toes like. My size is 7, but my foot is wide, and it's not easy for me to buy shoes that are comfortable for my toes.