Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Buy, Keep, Give away...





People buy things all the time, but before holidays, it becomes madness.  The good news is that the urge to buy  can be controlled just like the urge to overeat.  People, however, seem more interested in controlling things they cannot control, like the weather, for instance.

Those who do not participate in the shopping race will say, 'Hey! what do you need all this stuff for; remember, you'll take nothing with you when you leave this world'. True, though it wasn't entirely so in antiquity, and that reminds me of the archeological museum in Heraklion (Crete greek island).



entrance to the Archeological Museum in Heraklion (2016)

Heraklion has one of the finest archeological museums in Europe (it's a Must when visiting the island). At the museum, my attention was caught by the display of a great variety of personal belongings and tools found in people's graves. Also decorations and worship figurines. The ancient Cretans actually believed they'll need all this stuff in afterlife, and demanded to be burried with them.

miniature works of ivory, gold, semiprecious stones

figurines

daggers

jewelery

Back to our modern times .
Over the years, following decluttering, many accumulated items will be discarded, donated, sold   by the owners or their heirs ( the latter will usually concentrate first on what can be turned into some profit: house, art, jewelery).

Apropo heirs - Inheritance might cause them a lot of 'headache' about what to keep and what to give away or sell . Some inherit "overloaded" houses, others, houses with few possessions. In both cases they have doubts as to what to keep and what to dispose of.
I think perhaps parents can make it easy for them by leaving clear instructions or...clear houses.

A friend of mine  whom I've always known as a dedicated daughter, discarded or sold after her mother's passing, even items that had sentimental value.
That was not like her at all and, I was rather surprised (she had also offered me some items).  When I asked her why, she blamed it on pressure from what she called ,'her insensitive husband', who favored only space and money.  I believed her, and yet, I was disappointed in her. 

I thought it was not fair to the memory of her Mom (single mother, divorced after only five years of marriage) who worked  hard  to achieve all those things left behind .







34 comments:

  1. Even though I don't have hardly any material thing from my past, my memories are still with me if I so decide to reflect back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right. We don't neccessarily need a physical object to remind us of someone or something in our past. We have our memories. But it helps a great deal.

      Delete
  2. Its a tough one, I understand, about wanting to keep everything clear and uncluttered and at the same time there are items of special value, whether monetary or sentimental. I like to think of Yeshua's words of storing up treasures in Heaven! But with our feet on earthly ground its sometimes hard to make wise choices!! As always your writing brings up lots to think about it!! Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cluttering becomes a major problem especially at the more advanced stage of life when it becomes difficult to clean, repair and arrange things in the house. So,it's then that de-cluttering comes to one's help; it's a vital process.

      Delete
  3. A very thoughtful discussion you've made Duta.
    It's always fascinated me how many possessions were found in early graves. Even cookery and kitchen utensils have been found ... so presumably the poor cook must keep working in the afterlife too ;D) excuse my humour but that thought always came to me!
    Many years ago, once the children were settled in their own lives, we decided to sell up the house and everything other than our personal items in order to travel... firstly in a 4WD and then in a bus. The only items we regret selling were our vinyl records and some extra books. We have told ourselves over the years that they're only material possessions and to "get over it" :D) However, we regretted it and, if asked, tell others to think twice about some things.
    I hope your friend doesn't have regret, but on the other hand I can perhaps understand her decision at the time... it is a big job to clear up someone's life possessions and she was most likely still grieving.
    Cheers Duta... it's always lovely to catch up with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I'm impressed!
      Selling the house and possessions to embark on travel adventures!
      Indeed, one has to think twice before getting rid of certain items, to avoid regrets later on.

      Delete
  4. I do love Crete! Poor islanders have the same political problems as you and us!
    When my paternal grandparents died (within the same week) they left the house so full of utter rubbish (literally nothing valuable inside, not that we hoped or expected anything) that it took my late father and uncle about three months just to take it all out sack by sack so that the garbage men can carry it away. I do also prefer space to clutter, but I'm practical like that.
    The good thing is that we no longer bury the servants with us when we die too like ancient people sometimes did :) Do you remember that classic 80s TV series THE FAR PAVILIONS in which the maharaja's wife is burnt alive with his dead body during the funeral because she was also considered his Earthly possession? Ben Cross shot her in the forehead from a distant tower so that she would not at least suffer the pain of burning alive. Horrible!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry about your grandparents; 'within the same week', it must have been quite a blow to your family.

      Clutter is a problem for most people. I'm a minimalist, and yet I sometimes find myself deeply engaged in decluttering efforts.

      Wives are no longer burnt alive with the deceased husband, but are still considered by some men as their possession. There's a lot of violence towards women within certain families, violence which often results in murder.

      Delete
  5. That's very sad abut that mother and the daughter. When my mom passed away 8 years ago my brother and I halfed up al the sentimental items and gave everything else to charity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It made me think. If such a loving daughter does this then what about the others.
      I gave my Mom's clothes to charity but kept small items such as her hat,her favorite handkercief, and of course, her handwork to remind me of her.

      Delete
  6. De-cluttering has become a way of life for many people, including ourselves. We try not to accumulate "stuff" but somehow we do. When my mother died several years ago, we had to through the house and make many decisions on things to donate, toss, keep or sell, which some things later were. It was not an easy process. I have not yet mastered the art of living simply but thankfully we are now in an apt vs. a house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, decluttering is not an easy process, but still a necessary one. The right attitude is, as you say, to try not to accumulate stuff, learn to minimize and downsize where possible.

      Delete
  7. Sad she did not keep anything, terrible husband. Interesting museum in Crete. I have actually been there but didn't know about this museum not that we would have had time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crete has actually two major attractions: the archeological museum in Heraklion and the islet of Spinalonga which was home to the lepers of Greece until the year of 1950.

      Delete
  8. I'm trying to do that -- declutter (I know, one can't tell looking at my house but the basement which was packed is much better) and allocating things for the future. At some point, I will sell my house (not soon I hope) and that will force a lot of decisions. Meanwhile, when someone asks what I would like for a gift, apart from the occasional book or paint set, I want an experience -- dinner out, a shared experience, maybe a movie or play or road trip. Bit by bit...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, an experience is preferrable to an object, even to a book. I tried to donate some books to a library, and was refused on the ground of lack of space.

      Delete
  9. I am curious with daggers. are they ancient daggers?

    very sad to know about your friend and her mother.

    Have a great day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ancient daggers, of course. All the exhibits are from the ancient period of the Minoan civilization (C.2700-C.1100BCE). This is a Bronze Age civilization in the island of Crete and other Aegean islands.

      Delete
  10. There are some things...some precious items...probably not worth a cent to anyone else...but to the individual person are priceless. They can be the simplest of item, but the precious memories attached are irreplaceable.

    I've been trying to de-clutter a bit...but, boy, it is difficult. There are some things I just cannot part with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree with you. Certain little, cheap things mean nothing to someone but a lot to me.

      De-cluttering is indeed, a difficult matter, but it has to be done. I've seen people having to move and not knowing where to begin.

      Delete
  11. De-cluttering isn't always easy, but I do try!
    It is so often the more simple items that we cherish, they and the memories they hold are worth so much.

    I've not visited Crete so it was interesting to read your words and see your photographs, thank you.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it isn't easy. We get attached to our stuff. The simpler the items,the more we cherish them.
      As for Crete, I wrote a post on the visit to Heraklion and surroundings (use Search and type the word Heraklion if you wish to read about it.).

      Delete
  12. People, however, seem more interested in controlling things they cannot control, like the weather, for instance.

    This is very true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The weather is a good example. So much talking and writing about it! We can control our actions and be prepared to its ravagies, but we can do nothing to prevent them. Only God has the power of dealing with the weather.

      Delete
  13. i find the painting kind of interesting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the paintings at that museum are interesting. Hard to believe that people in ancient times had that kind of technique.

      Delete
  14. I hate shopping, I only go when I have to ! Indeed there are so many other interesting things to do then loosing time with shopping !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sometimes becomes pathetic. Such waste of time and money! This is especially true of the pre-holidays period.

      Delete
  15. This museum looks very interesting!
    I rarely get stuff for myself other than necessities but tend to buy too much for my kitties :-D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very interesting, indeed!
      Lucky kitties! I'm sure you get your reward from their love and companionship.

      Delete
  16. It's interesting. When my parents died I had to get rid of a lot of things.
    I've been trying to declutter.
    My client and I often discuss what she will do with her things, as she has 7 children, ages 60+, and they don't really need anything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 7 children...nice! I think parents don't want to leave a mess to their children, and yet in many cases that's exactly what happens, for some reason or another.

      Delete
  17. I think we had to show our respect for our parents, by cherish some personal stuff. When we did not have a good relationship with them, it is hard. Sometimes we understand our parents (a little bot more) through the stuff they leave behind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree with your opinion. We should show both respect and understanding for our parents, by cherishing some of their personal stuff.

      Delete